Seagulls,Grasshoppers,Bacon and Murphy's law

Hello there my pretties! Random title I know, but I'm going to tell you a little story about one of my sisters that we lovingly call Murphy. As in Murphy's Law anything that can go wrong will. I will start the hilarity with the Seagull. Picture if you will, Murphy is enjoying her lunch outside of a fast food restaurant, eating her french fries and minding her own business. Now at any of these kind of places where you can eat outside, you know the dumpster ducks will come a flocking. Now just as Murphy is putting fries into her mouth, this random bastard seagull swoops down and tries to grab her fry, but instead of nabbing the fries this damn thing grabs her lip, now here's Murphy screaming and there's seagull flapping its wings trying get away with my sisters lip. It was one big clusterfuck of wings,feathers, screaming and fries! Just picture it you will find it as hilarious as I did! Now the grasshopper incident, Murphy is walking and talking (2 things she usually can't do at once.) with mom in the backyard and just as Murphy opened her mouth to talk, a grasshopper decided it wanted to go swimming in saliva and hopped it little suicidal self straight into Murphy's mouth! LMAO, Her eyes got as big as golf balls and she spat the grasshopper out, then the freak out ensued. and last but certainly not least and more than likely not the last either, Bacon. We were out in the kitchen, laughing and talking like we usually do, when I said something of my usual hilarity. Murphy went to laugh and apparently breath in at the same time, she inhaled the damn chunk of pork she was consuming. I was too busy laughing to realize that she was choking on it. (I'm going to hell I know.) Thankfully Murphy's other sister smacked her on the back and out plopped the bacon.  Hope it made you chuckle.

Until Next Time,
Shay's Crazy Mundane Life.

Lost and trying to find your way back.

What or Who do we turn to when we have a problem? We go to the ones closest to us, but what if they turn their backs on you? Maybe they get mad at you for you've told them. How do you cope with the things you feel that you just can't tell anyone or even say out loud when you're alone? Everyone has that one best friend that you can do just that with. I'm lucky enough to have that kind of best friend. Some of the things I've been told just break my heart. I have no idea what to tell them or do to help them but just sit and listen to what they are saying. Sometimes that's all you need, someone to just listen. Even though all the while I'm screaming on the inside! I just want to grab them and shake them, or hug them and just let them know I love them and would move heaven and hell for them. I just wish they could see and understand how important they are. When I think about it the saying "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." comes to mind. Now I know that I've had my fair share of Emo moments, but when my friends do it, it hits me hard. I've been there! I've been to that breaking point, where all you can think about is how to stop the pain you're feeling. When you're at that point all you want to do is stop it. You don't think about all the other lives this one decision YOU make will impact them. The reason why you don't think about that is because you feel you have NO ONE that will listen or help you.(Even though you really do.) There is always help, whether it's a family member, friend, doctor, there is ALWAYS someone for you to turn to. Now like I said I've been there a few times actually, so I am no saint and I'm not preaching by any means. There are still times when those fucked up thoughts creep back into my mind. What I'm trying to say I guess is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE talk to someone but it goes too far and you reach that breaking point. Think of the people that will miss you most. They come in the most unexpected forms. IF YOU DO READ THIS KNOW I LOVE YOU! IF YOU EVER HURT YOURSELF, I WILL BRING YOU BACK AND KILL YOU AGAIN! No but seriously, you mean the world to me. When you tell me about things like that it kills me on the inside! I love you!

Shay


P.s. 
I will blog again soon, hopefully I will find my funny again!
This situation just impacted me so deeply I had to write about it!
Sweet dreams loves!
Shay's Crazy Mundane Life

I Play With Dolls....

Well hello there lovies! It's been awhile hasn't it? Not a whole hell of a lot has happened, but what has happened has been awesome! Let see, I am now a full fledged member of The Modified Dolls. We are an awesome organization! Check us out www.themodifieddolls.org I had a photo shoot and am in a calendar from them. I'll also be doing the Polar Plunge for Special Olympics in February! Started a few businesses with Twinkie and they are doing well! It's been a small whirlwind for me lately, I'm having bariatric surgery in hopes of changing not only my lifestyle but my body and health! Christmas and New Years came and went. Which is a good thing, I was so not ready for Christmas and no it wasn't because of the whole "the world is going to end, so I'm not shopping." shit. I just have been extremely broke but eh, I'd rather be broke and happy than rich and miserable! (I'll tell you though I wouldn't mind being rich, every once in a while.) Oh I met Lzzy Hale and the guys from Halestorm again! Lzzy even remembered me from when I met her back in August at The Machine Shop! Lzzy is an amazingly wonderful person and is so down to earth and chill. Her brother Arejay is awesome a little crazy (lol you know we love ya Arej) but awesome none the less! I have so many things I am going to start this year! I am starting a band, I meet with my drummer on Thursday! I am going after a modeling career something in the Modified model category. I plan on becoming a better artist. (Gomez just threw a damn noodle at me!) (Oh shit I forgot to tell you guys I'm currently dating guy that we shall call Gomez. HAHA ) I also am getting my self into shape after surgery and I slim down I will be going back to boxing! (I stopped for multiple reasons, but I miss it terribly!) I can't wait for all my plans and changes to take hold! Trust me you guys will know, because one of my things is to try and blog more and keep sharing my successes and failures!

Until Next Time!,
Shay's Crazy Mundane Life  

Liar Liar pants on fire.

I've spent most of my adult life coining the phrase; I hate liars. I'd like to say I've never said those words out loud for the world to hear, but... I would be lying. Liars irritate me to no end. I hate lies! Don't lie to me, it pisses me off. Also when you lie to me, I get offended that you couldn't trust me with the truth. It hurts that you feel you have to hide things from me. When you lie, I add layers to my wall that has taken me years to build. I pride myself in knowing even the best of lies. I can catch a person in a lie and they have NO idea I know they're bullshitting me. I just know over time you tend to pick up on certain ticks and twitches people have when they tell a lie.

but here's the thing that I've been hiding or trying to anyway: I am a liar.

I lie A LOT, When I don't want to go out with my friends. When they call and ask I instantly think of the things I could say to get out of it. Instead of saying "No, I'm not really up for going out tonight sorry." Because I'm afraid of hurting their feelings, or I feel guilty. What's wrong with just not wanting to go out? Absolutely nothing!

I pride myself in being a confrontational person during times of conflict. Yet as I confront a friend or family member with how they've offended me, I keep what really hurt me from them. What I really want to tell them is too hard to because it might hurt their feelings. It makes me feel vulnerable, because it might make them mad at me. I don't like sharing what bothers me or how I feel because it makes me feel weak. I sometimes approach people with false humility. I pretend to be less smart, less talented,less capable, so that I can pacify their ego, so they'll like me. It keeps me from being my true self. We all lie though, don't we? We learn to lie as early as we learn how to talk. We learn to manipulate. We learn how to get what we want, or rather we just KNOW how to lie, manipulate, and get what we want. We haven't learned NOT to. Well that's enough about me and my wisdom for now. 

Until Next Time!

Shay's Crazy Mundane Life. 

Twinkies? Oh Boy here we go!

There is a hurricane a blowing and just by knowing what you know, you have an advantage to the blind morons that surround you everyday. However not everyone can be saved. Ancient proverb: don't bother telling the TRUTH to your friend because he already knows and don't bother telling the TRUTH to your enemy because he won't believe you. Civilize those you can and fuck the rest. There are too many people in this world. It is not our responsibility to be constantly cleaning up after the weak-minded. Nature will eventually run its course and those too stupid to live will fortunately be crushed beneath the wheels of our progress. Assume your individuality. Culture can rob you of your uniqueness. That's how stereotypes exist, and not without reason. Anyone too wrapped up in the sheep mentality of their ethnicity can never truly express themselves as individuals. READ, Watch, LISTEN, DO what you want. BUT BE WARNED! You cannot have this freedom at no cost. You must pay in responsibility. If you listen to MARILYN MANSON and MURDER your FAMILY then you will go to jail. That's reality. If you decide to commit suicide for a song-SO LONG SUCKER! That kind of thinking has no place in our movement. Right now as a Family, as an Army we are limited as a minority. Laws bind us. But it is important to remember the law is only what is popular. Not whats right or wrong. Reject conventional morality and societal self-serving standards. When WE become the majority, we will decide who doesn't belong. As misanthropes and throw-away lods we will not submit to the mainstream. You will become it. And America should be very, very afraid. 

Ok, now that's out of my system. Let's continue! First off HOLY SHIT it's been forever since I wrote a blog. I went on a bit of a hiatus. I was lost, confused, and EXTREMELY far from who I am and who I used to be. I really need to find myself and start accepting myself for who I am. I needed to get back to not giving a flying fuck what people think of me. I'm still slightly lost and still trying to get ME back! It's a process and a very tough road, but I'll get there eventually! So that being said here's some things that have happened. (Some of which still has me reeling.) First thing, (I know I have blogged this already but I don't care I'm going to write about it again!) My beautiful aunt left this world and her passing left a HUGE hole in my heart. That woman meant the absolute world to me! She was the most loving,caring, giving, and non-judgmental person to ever walk this earth! I miss her and think about her literally everyday. I wish I could just see her and tell her I love her, what I would give to have just a few more minutes with her! She was my 2nd mother! I don't know I could go on forever about her...

Moving on, I started my own business and its proving to be a flop. I have also joined forces with the dark side (aka my twinky) This chick has come into my life and slapped it in the face! but in a great way! Ok a bit of a description of my heterosexual life mate we shall call Twinky. Twinky is EXACTLY like me it's almost scary! The difference though she says the shit I think and keep to myself out loud! HAHA another way to describe Twinky is if you have ever seen the movie Bridesmaids, the chick that takes a shit ton of puppies, and is just all around nuts, Yeah that's exactly like Twinky's personality and even some of the shit she says and does I swear to goddess the writers of that movie stole some of the lines from Twinky! Haha Which brings me to another thing! (Yeah I know you thought I was done babbling huh?) During my "hiatus" my mom and I have drifted so far apart it's sickening. I had become severely depressed not just from this but from other obvious reasons. My mom and I got into a HUGE scream-fest and at a point in said scream-fest my mom told me I was dead to her. This was 2 weeks after my Aunts passing. I lost it and grabbed one of my many assortment of knives and put it to my wrist. Now Twinky discovering this, threatened to beat the holy living shit out of me, IF I was ever so stupid again. "I'm life and sometimes I just bite you in the ass." "Yeah you see this I'm life and I'm kicking your ass, you have to fight back sometimes damn it!" That was some of the conversation between Twinky and I (I'll leave the visual up to you. HAHAHA) After that there were several other threats... Actually you know what I can't even call them threats, They were straight up promises! I love this girl like crazy, and I am so thankful to have her be a part of my life! 

I'm still boxing which is a good thing! I don't have my shit together but I'll get there eventually! I have my good days and bad days, but then again doesn't everybody? 

There has been just a flood of numerous things that have happened over the last couple months it's just crazy and it's seriously almost like a roller coaster of fucked up and hilarious. Halloween parties over the weekend were just crazy! It was an absolute blast! I'm paying for it today though, but if you think about it a hangover is just god's way of saying you kicked ass last night! OH OH OH funny comeback of the weekend; Twinky: I'm scary! Me: You can't scare me bitch, I'm little red riding hood! Twinky: Well I could be the big bad wolf, you never know! Me: That's ok you can eat me later! This was followed by Twinky and I laughing our asses off and her calling me a rotten bitch! It was fucking hilarious! 

Another thing to happen is, I am a probationary member of the Modified Dolls. If you don't know what or who they are look them up! Anyways I had a photo shoot with them for the calendar they are putting out. I met some really awesome girls and I'm really glad that I could be a part of it!

Last couple of things before I abruptly end this, as per usual. My friend/sister "B" and my cousin/sister "Rizzo" are both HUGE parts of my life also if it wasn't for both of them I would be so much more lost than I already am! I love you both SO much! and Thank you for being there for me!

Yeti don't you dare think I forgot about you either! If it wasn't for you I can honestly say I would not be here anymore! You are my escape and my slap in the face when I need it! Seriously without you 4 AMAZING people in my life I would not be able to handle anything that happens, whether it be Joy,sorrow or just that normal flood of crazy that happens every so often. Just thank you! and know that you mean the world to my crazy mixed up ass! I love you guys!

Until Next Time,

Shay's Crazy Mundane Life

Holy politics, religion, who you can and can't have sex with mumbo jumbo voodoo blah blah Batman!

Well Hello there! I guess it really hasn't been as long as I thought it would be.  So I was on the popular social network site everyone knows and mutually loves and hates. I was reading some arguments people were having on one of those photo page thingys. You know the kind of conversations you should never bring up especially on a public page because you will get (pardon my analogy) Nailed to the mother fudging cross for your opinions no matter how innocent they are or were meant to be. Now look everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I think there should be a limit or at least a certain level of maturity and intelligence reached before being allowed to make comments on someone else's opinion. As I was reading some of these I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably at some of these people's ridiculous comments on how their religion is oldest known and that marriage is between a man and a woman and only a man and a woman, now for the record I am straight that's my documented sexual orientation, personally I don't think you should have to state or pronounce, shout what have you, as to what your sexual orientation is. I figure "oh you screw only dudes huh? That's awesome, wait doesn't that hurt?" o_O kind of thing and that's my opinion. Why does there always have to be a category to everything we do, say, act, or think. Seriously think about it, here's some food for thought categories: What's your religion? BOOM= category, Sexual Orientation yep you guessed it CATEGORY! Ethnicity? Age? Republican or Democrat? If they are categories they are also fucking statistics! This is not the land of the free, we are far from it! People (government and others) have their hands, opinions etc in every aspect of our daily lives. Free MY ASS that's why we have what we should do, buy, and how we should live beat into our brains since infancy. How so, you ask? Television, radio, internet, and even day to day conversations. Now mind you I enjoy TV just as much as the next couch potato but seriously I could live without all the bullshit and ads they show on TV. Oh (sorry A.D.H.D. moment) Did you know we are the fattest nation in world!? Seriously people get your fat little porkers off the video games and outside! These hefty little lumpkins are our future! Which is going to be shit, because we adults as parents let these lovely little bundles of joy (gag) get away with fucking murder and get every fucking little thing they desire. Tell them no and kick their asses outside, take shit away from them I mean seriously! You don't need to spend hundreds of dollars on them for bullshit holidays like Easter that's almost as pointless as buying them a gift because they made it to another Thanksgiving! Now Christmas yeah get them SOME stuff they don't need the whole damn living room filled with shit they play with once and throw it under the bed to forget it ever existed, This ladies and gents is why your kids act the way they do when they don't get their way! Nothing ruins my day more than going into the store for something and these drunken little fucking midgets are running up down isles and screaming. SERIOUSLY DON'T JUST STAND THERE SAYING "OH STOP IT or KNOCK IT OFF."  GRAB THE LITTLE BASTARD WHOOP THEIR ASS APOLOGIZE FOR RAISING A LITTLE ASS-HAT AND LEAVE THE GOD DAMN STORE SO I CAN FINISH MY SHOPPING IN PEACE! Thank you, Society!  Ok I want kids of my own but it's definitely not a good idea for me to have any, anytime soon. Mainly my problem is I can not stand other peoples children, now if I'm around them since day one or they are my family then I'm ok but strangers' children fucking frustrate me to no end!  Ok now that, that is over continuing on. Let's rewind back to the religion thing. So I seen on one of those photos, that someone had said Christianity was the oldest known religion (hahaha ok wait for it....*deep breath* ok I'm good) oh and that homosexuality is an abomination but we'll come back to that in a second. Number one all mighty king of douches, The Oldest form of religion is a combination of Egyptian and Pagan religions. Egyptian being older than Pagan but later adopting things from Paganism and vice versa. Every religion has adopted one thing from another and not one is original all to themselves. Please for the love of god, goddess, Satan, sun, moon, sky whatever the fuck you believe in, educate yourself before commenting and making judgement on another persons beliefs. Thank you, for you will be saving us the tongue lashing by doing so. Personally I don't give a shit what you worship, I have mine you have yours tada! conversation over there is no right or wrong religion! Moving on...Homosexuality is an abomination, hmm really? What if those said "homos" condemn you for going home and putting it to your wife and that it is an abomination to do so. You would get pissed right? Exactly! Number two all mighty doucheist one, You shouldn't tell someone who they love is an abomination. They don't do it to you! Let's say your kid comes home and tells you that they're what you call an abomination, would you really turn your back on your own blood? If you do you're seriously a piece of garbage! Personally I don't give a shit who you do and don't sleep with at night, trust me it is the farthest from my mind at night when I go to sleep. Why make such a huge ordeal out of it? Guess what shock to you I know, but not everyone in the world follows your "God" and believes in what you believe in, Who are you to be Judge, Jury and Executioner? Get on with your life! Live how you want, With who you want! No regrets! and fuck anyone who says you can't!

Until Next Time!
Shay's Crazy Mundane Life.

Sleep Deprivation and Dead Chicks?!

Hey there guys time for a new blog! So I can’t sleep at night ever! My mind goes a hundred million miles a minute and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to stop it! I have been going over different things in mind. I’m lost and don’t know how to find myself anymore. I used to have so much fun and now I feel like I’m just walking through life and with no purpose other than to just be. It feels like every time I have a new ambition everyone is right there telling me I can’t do it, or I shouldn’t do it, or it will never work and I’ll fail. I feel like not one person supports me in anything I do and don’t bother to help me achieve the goals I set. (Let’s face it; you can’t achieve your goals alone without some form of help.) I just feel completely alone! I have aspirations to be a tattoo artist and when want to tattoos I say I’ll do it (if it’s simple enough) they tell me they will wait until I get a few more “under my belt”. Well let me ask you this; How the hell am I supposed to get more tattooing experience when not one person will let tattoo them?! Another aspiration was to have a band (had one once and it fell through) No support there. Oh another to make clothes once again you guessed it! no fucking support there. I feel like I just don’t connect with my friends and family like I used to. I used to have so much fun with my friends, going out and walking in the middle of the night just because we were bored, laughing at the dumbest things, hell even “ghost hunting”! I mean I understand we’re older now but still that shouldn’t stop us! Right!? I don’t know, I know I’m stuck and just can’t get away from it. I don’t feel like I have things in common with my friends anymore. Nobody likes do the things that interest me. When I suggest doing something of my interest, I get looked at funny or I get called weird, or I get just a flat no. I’m sick of feeling like I have to fight to get myself back! I just want to be me again and have the support and understanding that I used to! Okay, Now that’s somewhat out of my system let’s move on.

 Dead chicks? Ha-ha Why yes dead chicks, I entered a contest to be the face of DEADCHICKSARECOOL I had to enter a picture of myself and the photo with the most comments by August 21^st? (Can’t remember the final day.) Wins $1000.00, All expense trip to New York, and they will be the face of the company’s website. So I have been spamming the link on Facebook. Trying to get everyone I know to go comment on my picture and vote me!Dead Chicks Are Cool! Vote for me! Just leave a comment and boom that's your vote!

Now I probably won’t post a blog for a while (What else is new right?) unless something comes up that I feel I want to bitch about or jumble out, out of shear excitedness lol.

Until Next Time,

Shay’s Crazy Mundan+e Lif+e