Liar Liar pants on fire.

I've spent most of my adult life coining the phrase; I hate liars. I'd like to say I've never said those words out loud for the world to hear, but... I would be lying. Liars irritate me to no end. I hate lies! Don't lie to me, it pisses me off. Also when you lie to me, I get offended that you couldn't trust me with the truth. It hurts that you feel you have to hide things from me. When you lie, I add layers to my wall that has taken me years to build. I pride myself in knowing even the best of lies. I can catch a person in a lie and they have NO idea I know they're bullshitting me. I just know over time you tend to pick up on certain ticks and twitches people have when they tell a lie.

but here's the thing that I've been hiding or trying to anyway: I am a liar.

I lie A LOT, When I don't want to go out with my friends. When they call and ask I instantly think of the things I could say to get out of it. Instead of saying "No, I'm not really up for going out tonight sorry." Because I'm afraid of hurting their feelings, or I feel guilty. What's wrong with just not wanting to go out? Absolutely nothing!

I pride myself in being a confrontational person during times of conflict. Yet as I confront a friend or family member with how they've offended me, I keep what really hurt me from them. What I really want to tell them is too hard to because it might hurt their feelings. It makes me feel vulnerable, because it might make them mad at me. I don't like sharing what bothers me or how I feel because it makes me feel weak. I sometimes approach people with false humility. I pretend to be less smart, less talented,less capable, so that I can pacify their ego, so they'll like me. It keeps me from being my true self. We all lie though, don't we? We learn to lie as early as we learn how to talk. We learn to manipulate. We learn how to get what we want, or rather we just KNOW how to lie, manipulate, and get what we want. We haven't learned NOT to. Well that's enough about me and my wisdom for now. 

Until Next Time!

Shay's Crazy Mundane Life.