Lost and trying to find your way back.

What or Who do we turn to when we have a problem? We go to the ones closest to us, but what if they turn their backs on you? Maybe they get mad at you for you've told them. How do you cope with the things you feel that you just can't tell anyone or even say out loud when you're alone? Everyone has that one best friend that you can do just that with. I'm lucky enough to have that kind of best friend. Some of the things I've been told just break my heart. I have no idea what to tell them or do to help them but just sit and listen to what they are saying. Sometimes that's all you need, someone to just listen. Even though all the while I'm screaming on the inside! I just want to grab them and shake them, or hug them and just let them know I love them and would move heaven and hell for them. I just wish they could see and understand how important they are. When I think about it the saying "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." comes to mind. Now I know that I've had my fair share of Emo moments, but when my friends do it, it hits me hard. I've been there! I've been to that breaking point, where all you can think about is how to stop the pain you're feeling. When you're at that point all you want to do is stop it. You don't think about all the other lives this one decision YOU make will impact them. The reason why you don't think about that is because you feel you have NO ONE that will listen or help you.(Even though you really do.) There is always help, whether it's a family member, friend, doctor, there is ALWAYS someone for you to turn to. Now like I said I've been there a few times actually, so I am no saint and I'm not preaching by any means. There are still times when those fucked up thoughts creep back into my mind. What I'm trying to say I guess is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE talk to someone but it goes too far and you reach that breaking point. Think of the people that will miss you most. They come in the most unexpected forms. IF YOU DO READ THIS KNOW I LOVE YOU! IF YOU EVER HURT YOURSELF, I WILL BRING YOU BACK AND KILL YOU AGAIN! No but seriously, you mean the world to me. When you tell me about things like that it kills me on the inside! I love you!

Shay


P.s. 
I will blog again soon, hopefully I will find my funny again!
This situation just impacted me so deeply I had to write about it!
Sweet dreams loves!
Shay's Crazy Mundane Life

I Play With Dolls....

Well hello there lovies! It's been awhile hasn't it? Not a whole hell of a lot has happened, but what has happened has been awesome! Let see, I am now a full fledged member of The Modified Dolls. We are an awesome organization! Check us out www.themodifieddolls.org I had a photo shoot and am in a calendar from them. I'll also be doing the Polar Plunge for Special Olympics in February! Started a few businesses with Twinkie and they are doing well! It's been a small whirlwind for me lately, I'm having bariatric surgery in hopes of changing not only my lifestyle but my body and health! Christmas and New Years came and went. Which is a good thing, I was so not ready for Christmas and no it wasn't because of the whole "the world is going to end, so I'm not shopping." shit. I just have been extremely broke but eh, I'd rather be broke and happy than rich and miserable! (I'll tell you though I wouldn't mind being rich, every once in a while.) Oh I met Lzzy Hale and the guys from Halestorm again! Lzzy even remembered me from when I met her back in August at The Machine Shop! Lzzy is an amazingly wonderful person and is so down to earth and chill. Her brother Arejay is awesome a little crazy (lol you know we love ya Arej) but awesome none the less! I have so many things I am going to start this year! I am starting a band, I meet with my drummer on Thursday! I am going after a modeling career something in the Modified model category. I plan on becoming a better artist. (Gomez just threw a damn noodle at me!) (Oh shit I forgot to tell you guys I'm currently dating guy that we shall call Gomez. HAHA ) I also am getting my self into shape after surgery and I slim down I will be going back to boxing! (I stopped for multiple reasons, but I miss it terribly!) I can't wait for all my plans and changes to take hold! Trust me you guys will know, because one of my things is to try and blog more and keep sharing my successes and failures!

Until Next Time!,
Shay's Crazy Mundane Life